Well, I found out yesterday that my Uncle Rocky died of a massive heart attack. It was really painful and also really a shock, since he was only 40 years old. I can't imagine what his kids and Elaine are going through. My dad called and the conversation went something like this:
Dad: Boo?
Meg: Hi daddy. You called?
Dad: Yeah. Honey, I hate to have to tell you but I found out yesterday that your Uncle Rocky died.
Meg: ...Oh.
Dad: He was only 40 so I know it's got to be a big shock.
Meg: ...Yeah.
Dad: I know we hadn't seen him in a while so it's got to be tough, but you just got to keep his kids and Elaine in your prayers right now.
Meg: ...Right.
Dad: You'll do that then?
Meg: Of course.
Dad: Okay baby. Well, I'll talk to you soon then.
Meg: Okay.
I went and took a shower and tried to call my mom and got ready for school and then sat down to watch something on TV. Like two hours after Dad told me, I started crying. And I just couldn't stop crying. I kept thinking of the most fun and sweet things Uncle Rocky had ever done for me and how nice he was and how I hadn't seen him in person since I was 12 or 13. My memory of him had faded so much...he was just tall (or was I just short?) with orangish hair and a little mustache, in a T-shirt with belted jeans and a ball cap. I don't even know how accurate that is. I couldn't believe how quickly he was dissolving in my mind.
I called Dad back. He was working but he took almost an hour to talk to me, which is saying a lot because we love each other to death but we're pretty succinct and usually our phone chats happen two or three times a week, are about three to four minutes long and consist of, "You're alive? You're good? I'm alive. I'm good. I miss you. I love you. We'll talk soon." You know. Just to check in. But sometimes I lose sight of how deep my dad really is. It seems to happen a lot that I'm just struck by the fact that he's this independent person with a life and his own thoughts, not just My Dad whose only job is to be responding to whatever it is that I've done or said.
We talked about Uncle Rocky and how crazy he was and how crazy the Todd (my dad) + Rocky combination was. They both had heart attacks young, my dad in his thirties, just from being too damn wild, and Dad insists that if Rocky hadn't moved to Spokane, and they'd kept running together and doing everything together, they'd both have been dead ten years ago. It's probably true.
Before my dad married Peggie and became all respectable and grown-up, I can remember conversations like this:
Dad: Now, Boo, you need to get to bed. I told you, 12:30 AM sharp is your bedtime. I promised your mom I'd have you to bed at a decent hour.
Meg: But Daaaaad, Uncle Rocky's here.
Dad: And Dad and Uncle Rock want to drink beer and play cards and talk about stuff. So you need to go to bed. You can have one more hour of TV, but it needs to be in the bedroom with the light off.
Meg: But Daaaaad.
Uncle Rocky: But Toooodd. The girl wants to learn poker, doesn't she?
Meg: Yes!
Dad: No. Bed. Now. Go.
Meg: But Uncle Rocky says that when he's here, he's the boss. I'm confused.
Uncle Rocky: It's because Uncle Rock has seven years on your dad and can whoop his ass.
Dad: Like hell you could! Okay. But you're going to be in bed by 1:30. Sharp! Deal?
Meg &
Rocky: Deal!
When we were talking, Dad mentioned how Rocky spoiled me rotten. Lots of people feel bad getting kids presents that are nicer than their parents could afford...not Rocky. Before he had kids, I was like his baby. I don't remember anything he ever got me, but I remember knowing that seeing Uncle Rocky was like getting an all-access pass to stay up late, drink the foam off of beer, and angle for that Furby I'd been eyeing.
I can't believe he moved to Spokane when I was only 5. He visited occasionally but not often. It seems like I saw a lot more of him than I really did, because he always made such an impression and was such a sweetheart to me. I know his own kids didn't always have it so well...he and his wife were sort of troubled and there were some incidences. Elaine spent some time in prison, I'm not sure for what, maybe drugs. It shouldn't surprise me...harmless as he was, Rocky had a big mouth. He swung a golf club (a 6 iron) through a guy's windshield once when the guy threatened my dad. He didn't mess around. He was the best kind of friend to have on your side, and and awesome uncle. Nothing else really seems to matter anymore.
I'll miss him a lot, and I wish I could have seen him more. This is just another reminder to love the people you have around you, and not to take them for granted, or take it for granted that they'll always be there. Rocky was a great guy and I'll always regret not getting to know more about him, and who he was, instead of just seeing him as Uncle Rocky. But like my dad told me, he wouldn't want me to be upset, and he didn't suffer, which is good. I'll try and honor him through my happy memories of our times together.
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